I RELEASE AND I LET GO

THIS FINE DAY, I release my grief, fears, sadness from my ancestral and my own personal past.
Bianca is another gentle soul, sharing this living space with me.   I have the clarity and courage to tell Lynn our professional relationship is ending, as I'm needing different, more exuberant, trusting, new energies on my home front.  We can still be friends, so call if you want to talk sometime.
    I am opening to my own gentleness, joy, trust in life unfolding.  I can come to this computer not in apprehension, but knowing I can use good discretion who I share with, who can help this flower within me keep on unfolding, softly and beautifully, no longer wilting under stories of my past.
   I treasure small and big pleasures, from yummy meals on my own or shared, to making new friends and giving attention to old ones as I choose.  I give thanks for Hilary guiding me to release unhealthy beliefs and neediness, and I am stepping into a whole new beginning, a gentle flowering in my personal, and in time, in my own professional life too.  I treasure memories of blue, clear skies and mountain lakes like the above, and there shall be more to come!
    I am truly glad to be alive, on this planet, at this time and in this place.  I belong here!

FOND MEMORIES

It's a good thing when a mountain lake brings back memories of days long gone, but still part of our wonderful history with parents who made the commitment to take their three youngsters out in this remarkable land.  Much about living simply isn't always easy.  When young, we can live with less, carry more, trust our basic needs will be met.  On one occasion, hiking over a pass above 9000 feet elevation, my dad fell to to the ground, writhing in pain.  The cause was unknown till 48 hours later when he was helicoptered out.  In the hospital, they removed kidney stones that were too large to pass.    We'd only seen the tough macho side of my Dad, never realizing he too could be vulnerable.
   It was a lesson in gratitude for the men who walked out 22 miles to tell the Ranger Station of his location and predicament.  It was a lesson in perseverance and going the distance for the rest of us who all carried a bit more to accommodate taking out what was in his pack, as we had those 22 miles to walk ourselves.  It was a huge relief to find him recovering, and able to take many more back packing trips before his sudden death at age 55.  It was a lesson in how quickly life can change, and there are times we all need outside help to survive.  It was both a fond and a terrifying memory.
    So when I am no longer able to take such trips, it still brings a mixture of joy and sadness to see photos like this one, of my sons and grandkids able to enjoy the Sierra high country.  I am grateful such trips gave me a perspective of a bigger picture, a pristine world beyond our city lives. I am grateful my sons and daughters still love hiking in amazing mountains, and kicking back with friends.  I am grateful to be able to walk myself, after years when I could only hobble a few steps.  I am still hopeful of companions to come who can help me enjoy wilderness in gentler ways.  All for today, and I am glad to be able to have one day in camp with friends next weekend!