Saturday, June 28, 2014

POETRY IS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL



                        POETRY IS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL

Poetry can attack injustices, without regard to pleasing the listener
Just as a wild animal is depressed & unhappy when trapped in a cage
  Where he/she has no freedom to roam, to explore, to follow his natural instincts
So, too, the poet is restless and even despondent when not allowed to express
   her passion, her aspirations, her reality in words.
She longs to be heard and acknowledged in a culture that usually ignores her.
Is she really retired, or just weary of no one listening, no one giving her support
   So she can practice her calling, her craft?

A wild animal has mystery, grace, a presence no longer found if her habitat is removed,
   Her survival is at risk.   She is not welcome where humans choose to encroach on her domain.  So often she no longer has a place to call home, a place where she is safe to raise her family and watch them become independent.

The poet too can feel displaced, expected to follow the rules that domesticate her free spirit.  If she has no mate, she must find ways to support and protect herself, and does so however she can.  Or, as many have done, she takes her life or quietly becomes silenced.
To be a poet is often a very solitary, disciplined existence, yet many of us yearn for community, for a sense of belonging.
We want people who care about us even if they have no idea the passion within us.
Poets use language to create possibilities and express feelings that many may have, but often cannot express.  Only in recent decades have women poets risen to be heard in this country.  For centuries, poetry has been the domain of men.

            My grandmother kept letters dating back to the 1700’s, and compiled them in her eighties.  They tell the stories of so many women whose roles were defined by being wives, mothers and daughters, with so little chance to explore the workings of their own minds beyond sending letters that often took months to reach their kinfolk. It seems poetry was a luxury reserved for the men like Shakespeare, Byron, Tennyson, Keats, and Shelley.  When one bears and raises many children, or dies in childbirth or from illness, it would be tough to access the poet within.  Many of the women English novelists remained single to give attention to their craft.  Like Jo, in Little Women, one had to be spirited and wild to consider being an author!  This paragraph belongs in an essay someday, but is included to say there may be an ancestral thread that goes back generations to having the discipline and inclination to write creatively.  It skipped the family I grew up in, but it is there in The Hudson Saga of my paternal grandmother because she took the time to preserve this history.  Thank you, Nana Hatch!  I didn’t get to see your wild or free spirit, your creative side that may have died with the wartime death of your son, my father, in 1944.  Your diaries told of the deep grief you carried, with no one to really hear you or comfort you.  Some of my passion about the devastating effect of war on families comes from personal experience.
       This commentary was inspired initially by noticing how passive and inactive my indoor cat is compared to a cat in the wild, like a lion free to roam compared to being in a zoo.  Also Bianca has no social life with a fellow cat, because where I live I can only have one pet, so her life is very restricted.

Friday, June 27, 2014

ENJOYING THE LIGHT RAIN

After days of a nasty cold, I got to my last water coloring class at the Upper Duck Pond in Lithia Park.  We met beneath some spruce trees that sheltered us from the rain.  It was fun to watch several groups of young kids scamper by, enjoying an overcast day after yesterday's heavy rains.  The park is truly beautiful when the trees are so wet; the bark is much more distinctive and well-defined.
      We sat in our shelter of trees, and first sketched a small area of the pond, then bit by bit, painted in the details.  I didn't have my camera along, so this photo is from 15 months ago.  Ducks seem to love the rain!  Grateful we are getting this much needed rain in June, for we are under real drought conditions, more so than I can ever remember so early in the summer season.  Birds were chirping, happy for the moisture too.  I took a short walk, but was careful to not overdo it.  I chose to frame my simple painting, then needed a short rest after lunch.  Happily my caregiver Tanja came by, and with her encouragement, we got rid of some serious clutter in my living room, and created a sweet altar area, including my new painting, some soul cards, and a photo of Taryn and me walking along the beach at my mom and dad's Memorial Celebration last August.  I look forward to seeing my granddaughters and their parents in about two weeks!
    I'd forgotten how sweet it can be to be outside in light rain.  Sometimes I do get frustrated with being sick (this was unacceptable in my family, so I do need to be my own best friend when ill).  Listened this morning to a CD on De-stressing the Brain, and one suggestion is going for gratitude and quietly affirming my worthiness of having good friends, good health, appropriate self-care and accepting help from others too.  The Buddhist idea of loving kindness in the midst of life's challenges instead of reacting in ways that only add to the stress.  All for now.  May we all learn to be more loving, more tender toward ourselves!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

HOW SWEET TO HEAR THEIR VOICES!


Last night I had a rare, special chance to talk with Lara and Meagan on the phone.  Their best birthday gift is having this time being together at Lara's place in Pasadena, visiting with mutual friends, having a gala dinner at an Argentinean restaurant they both love, choosing Meagan's wedding dress.  Within a week, Meagan flies back to her new life in Chile, and she'll be getting married there next March.
     I have compassion for the many moms whose daughters live far away, and seldom are able  to visit. I feel sadness to know I won't be at Meagan's wedding, but trust someday I shall be able to meet her beloved Jaime.  Thank God for photos on facebook, so I have a sense of how happy she is living in Chile, enjoying her work, her unfolding relationship with Jaime and his very large extended family.
    The girls are so close too, a blessing for both of them.  Their parents have done a marvelous job of giving them a strong foundation, and blessing their wings too.  It touches my heart to see the joy in Linda and Warren's faces whenever they have the chance to be with the girls.  They are a very close-knit family, no matter how far apart they live.  Eugene will always be "home" for Lara and Meagan.
     Do all birthmothers feel so blessed to watch their children given to new parents grow into remarkable, confident, talented young men or women?  Probably not, especially if they harbor resentment or regret  for their decision to give their child a new home with new parents.  For all of us, it's been precious, and brought much joy into many lives.  Thy know they are loved by many folks, and have large networks of friends who stay in touch and miss them.  What more could a mom wish for her adult children-good health, loyal friends,  confidence in the present and future because they've  grown  up with much love, and wise counsel from parents and others when facing life's challenges.
    How sweet to hear them laughing, inquisitive, enjoying their busy lives.  I am so glad to still be included, able to share their joy.  Blessings and love to you  both as you journey into your futures!