When I make time for daily meditation
I am more focused, calmer, able to clarify my intentions for the day
And stay on track, despite the distractions of daily life
I am better able to let go and be present
And better able to sleep, trusting even as I sleep, answers can come to me
in unexpected ways, like dreams, a phone call, a simple knowing about a situation.
Meditation reduces physical as well as emotional pain. It allows me to be kind to myself
without the usual judging mind, so my self-talk is more positive.
Meditation is a gentle answering to prayers I don't even have the words to voice.
It can be magical, like this purple snail, or just as reassuring a reason to rejoice
As this lovely photo of hiking in the Sierras on a glorious summer day.
I helps me feel deep inside that life is indeed precious, and ever changing.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Friday, December 5, 2014
May my heart be Open
MAY MY HEART BE OPEN BLESSED MOTHER/FATHER GOD to thy whisperings in the Silence within. When I weep, and know not why, please comfort me, and let the presence of angels of mercy and protection abide with me. Teach me the wisdom of patience and faith. Help me be discerning so my energy is better focused, less scattered. I feel sad to have missed much of this mediation class; please help me find ways to continue learning from this master teacher.
I love his understanding of what it is like for beginners. "We are slightly tickled that meditation is starting to allow us to access more expansiveness in our mind and daily life." We are learning to just be with ourselves and our experience, whatever shows up.
Meditation can be like a crack, where we create a more spacious situation around our thoughts and emotions. We become more available to relate to them fully in our daily lives. This feels encouraging so we want to continue exploring this path to bring more sense of calm and sanity to ourselves, our daily life, and the world around us. Meditation is a practice, like getting our bodies into shape; it won't happen overnight. We start off slowly, feeling inspired each time we can do just a bit more. Like this week, enjoying a yoga class for seniors, realizing all those years of learning yoga in my past are still held in the memory of my body. I can begin again and rekindle some of my old discipline and passion for yoga. Session by session in meditation, we begin to build up mental flexibility and openness that make our mind hearty and strong. We begin with short sessions. Already I am able to give spaciousness to a dream, and see it is telling me to keep an open heart, forgive whoever caused this untimely death, and allow my focus to be on peace, not regret or anguish. Death is not the final curtain, for even I know sometimes people I've loved dearly speak to me in a song, a chant, a fond memory.
So this new day, may my heart not be so quick to judge, but remain open. Please, spirit of grace and gentleness, peace and joy, abide with me as I embrace this new day. Shalom!
I love his understanding of what it is like for beginners. "We are slightly tickled that meditation is starting to allow us to access more expansiveness in our mind and daily life." We are learning to just be with ourselves and our experience, whatever shows up.
Meditation can be like a crack, where we create a more spacious situation around our thoughts and emotions. We become more available to relate to them fully in our daily lives. This feels encouraging so we want to continue exploring this path to bring more sense of calm and sanity to ourselves, our daily life, and the world around us. Meditation is a practice, like getting our bodies into shape; it won't happen overnight. We start off slowly, feeling inspired each time we can do just a bit more. Like this week, enjoying a yoga class for seniors, realizing all those years of learning yoga in my past are still held in the memory of my body. I can begin again and rekindle some of my old discipline and passion for yoga. Session by session in meditation, we begin to build up mental flexibility and openness that make our mind hearty and strong. We begin with short sessions. Already I am able to give spaciousness to a dream, and see it is telling me to keep an open heart, forgive whoever caused this untimely death, and allow my focus to be on peace, not regret or anguish. Death is not the final curtain, for even I know sometimes people I've loved dearly speak to me in a song, a chant, a fond memory.
So this new day, may my heart not be so quick to judge, but remain open. Please, spirit of grace and gentleness, peace and joy, abide with me as I embrace this new day. Shalom!
Thursday, November 27, 2014
THANKSGIVING IS ALL ABOUT SHARING
Growing up in my family
Thanksgiving was all about gathering with next of kin, whenever possible
And sharing a scrumptious turkey dinner, with all the trimmings
Nana and Grandpa were there, Mom was busy all day in the kitchen,
Alison and I would be setting the table, doing any last minute cleaning,
Preparing our home to welcome visitors with tasty turkey, dressing and gravy,
brussel sprouts, a big fruit salad, yams with pineapple, apple cider for the kids, wine for the adults
The smells meant this is a special day. I still love pumpkin pie to this day! Let us rejoice and be glad together!
Now I am not able to prepare such a meal, but I did so for my own family when the boys were
growing up, wherever we lived. A few years ago, we'd have a dinner like this in a friend's home,
and Jeff was usually present, once Neal and Adrienne, and often a guest who had no family nearby.
How times do change, but this time of year is about connecting and sharing good food, fond memories.
Jeff and I have just returned from visiting this friend who now lives alone, in an assisted living facility; he no longer is able to cook, but he sure enjoyed our company, and the pumpkin pie I left in his fridge.
Today Jeff will join me for a potluck dinner at the Unitarian Fellowship.
Another year to count our blessings and remember those no longer able to be with us.
Wherever you may be, I wish you a safe and lovely Thanksgiving, with friends and family too, when possible. May you take time to reflect on the blessings in your life. It is a gift to be alive, not taken for granted anymore as we grow older!
Thanksgiving was all about gathering with next of kin, whenever possible
And sharing a scrumptious turkey dinner, with all the trimmings
Nana and Grandpa were there, Mom was busy all day in the kitchen,
Alison and I would be setting the table, doing any last minute cleaning,
Preparing our home to welcome visitors with tasty turkey, dressing and gravy,
brussel sprouts, a big fruit salad, yams with pineapple, apple cider for the kids, wine for the adults
The smells meant this is a special day. I still love pumpkin pie to this day! Let us rejoice and be glad together!
Now I am not able to prepare such a meal, but I did so for my own family when the boys were
growing up, wherever we lived. A few years ago, we'd have a dinner like this in a friend's home,
and Jeff was usually present, once Neal and Adrienne, and often a guest who had no family nearby.
How times do change, but this time of year is about connecting and sharing good food, fond memories.
Jeff and I have just returned from visiting this friend who now lives alone, in an assisted living facility; he no longer is able to cook, but he sure enjoyed our company, and the pumpkin pie I left in his fridge.
Today Jeff will join me for a potluck dinner at the Unitarian Fellowship.
Another year to count our blessings and remember those no longer able to be with us.
Wherever you may be, I wish you a safe and lovely Thanksgiving, with friends and family too, when possible. May you take time to reflect on the blessings in your life. It is a gift to be alive, not taken for granted anymore as we grow older!
Thursday, November 20, 2014
With Grace and Gratitude
WITH GRACE AND GRATITUDE Jeff and I again travel to California to visit an old friend. So many trips we've taken to see mom in her sunset years. Those days are over now. We had hoped to see Hilda this time, but she is not well enough for a visit after breaking her pelvis in early November.
So we are saying yes, weather willing, to a trip to see another friend becoming too fragile for travel himself. Feeling a certain sadness, and it could be the time of year and the foggy mist outside, along with knowing life is not forever, and good friends die, as shall we when our time comes.
For now, we are blessed with the health to still be able to travel, enjoy the journey, and pay our respects to one who was once my partner, but our paths have taken different directions. With grace and a tender heart, we travel, giving thanks for life's many blessings this Thanksgiving week.
The top photo is Curtis and me on a summer trip some years ago, enjoying an area southwest of Mt. Shasta where the waterfalls are beautiful. The middle photo captures the majestic mystery of the Grand Canyon on a trip Jeff took with his dad. The lower photo was taken at the Avalon, before it closed its doors, ending, at least for the immediate future, a lovely venue for live music. Life is full of new beginnings, and yes, times where we pay our respects and let go of hopes and expectations, trusting the unknown will unfold in its own ways!
Thursday, November 13, 2014
WHAT AM I HERE FOR?
You are here, dear One, to use your powers of self-discipline, reflection, listening to wise teachers (whether they be angels, spirit guides, or living masters too) to discern what helps you heal your heart, mind, body and soul. This is a long journey, and you have learned many lessons already in this life .
time. Your writing is one way you share wisdom as well as what it is to be human and not have answers for many questions. You share when you listen and talk with people too.
You need more time in solitude than most folks, for you are a mystic, and a contemplative one at that!
Being in the presence of natural beauty feeds your soul, and that is why you so love taking photographs, for you love to share what may not be expressed in words alone.
As you give priority to your own healing, you also are open to healing others, for you are a being of light, and you see wonder in experiences others don't even notice. Pay attention: what gives you joy and peace? How can you change a stressful thought? Here Byron Katie's work is one skill for inquiry, and for you, sos is meditation, movement, trusting more what you are told by wise teachers, and fearing less. You cannot be happy in a partnership with someone not open to the journey of becoming more aware, more alive and wise. At the same time, you like having closure with friends who are dying; sometimes this can be in person, benefitting you both, and sometimes it happens in prayer, song, honoring your feelings as they arise, and knowing "this too shall pass".
Your body needs attention of course, for its well-being supports everything you do. Think of the whole community as your support at Christmas time, and let your children go as they choose. This is advice from a guardian angel who watches over you day and night. She is Gabriella, so call on her. She knew you needed a buddy to hug at night, and his name shall be David, or Emmy for Emmanuel, you choose! Peace be with you. Another great peacemaker is indeed near death, and he has many disciples to carry on his work. You too are a peacemaker, not an easy calling in these troubled times.
time. Your writing is one way you share wisdom as well as what it is to be human and not have answers for many questions. You share when you listen and talk with people too.
You need more time in solitude than most folks, for you are a mystic, and a contemplative one at that!
Being in the presence of natural beauty feeds your soul, and that is why you so love taking photographs, for you love to share what may not be expressed in words alone.
As you give priority to your own healing, you also are open to healing others, for you are a being of light, and you see wonder in experiences others don't even notice. Pay attention: what gives you joy and peace? How can you change a stressful thought? Here Byron Katie's work is one skill for inquiry, and for you, sos is meditation, movement, trusting more what you are told by wise teachers, and fearing less. You cannot be happy in a partnership with someone not open to the journey of becoming more aware, more alive and wise. At the same time, you like having closure with friends who are dying; sometimes this can be in person, benefitting you both, and sometimes it happens in prayer, song, honoring your feelings as they arise, and knowing "this too shall pass".
Your body needs attention of course, for its well-being supports everything you do. Think of the whole community as your support at Christmas time, and let your children go as they choose. This is advice from a guardian angel who watches over you day and night. She is Gabriella, so call on her. She knew you needed a buddy to hug at night, and his name shall be David, or Emmy for Emmanuel, you choose! Peace be with you. Another great peacemaker is indeed near death, and he has many disciples to carry on his work. You too are a peacemaker, not an easy calling in these troubled times.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
FOREVER IN MY HEART
FOREVER IN MY HEART
I remember you, dear friend
Always curious, kind, inquisitive, open to new learning and adventures
You reached out to touch so many lives
With your warmth, your bright mind and open heart.
When we have the courage to love deeply,
We shall know sorrow as well as joy
For our cup runs deeply, and we are sensitive beings
So suddenly we may leave this life, sometimes without time
for good-byes
I weep remembering our bond of deep friendship.
We were special to one another, and that love shall not die.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Like Sunshine
I awaken with waves of sadness, aware of life's impermanence as a very dear friend recently fractured her pelvis, and her recovery is not certain, not when one is 99. I listen to a tape about noticing recent memories that are pleasant, to help shift one's emotional state.
On line, several friends I've not even met are praying for Hilda, sending her energy and light. I am not alone in doing this for my friend.
The grey, cold morning has shifted into sunshine, and outside the yellow leaves are becoming red, soon to fall to the ground, and I'll be able to see the mountains again!
Already there is a reply to my ad to sell a recliner I am replacing with a firmer, smaller chair from Goodwill. It's nice to have a quick response sometimes, and when he comes, I won't have two chair in my small living area for long. It felt auspicious in the bright whispy clouds yesterday as I purchased the new-to-me chair. Like sunshine, waves of gratitude for simple things can sure uplift my mood.
Everything changes, including our emotions as we shift our focus!
On line, several friends I've not even met are praying for Hilda, sending her energy and light. I am not alone in doing this for my friend.
The grey, cold morning has shifted into sunshine, and outside the yellow leaves are becoming red, soon to fall to the ground, and I'll be able to see the mountains again!
Already there is a reply to my ad to sell a recliner I am replacing with a firmer, smaller chair from Goodwill. It's nice to have a quick response sometimes, and when he comes, I won't have two chair in my small living area for long. It felt auspicious in the bright whispy clouds yesterday as I purchased the new-to-me chair. Like sunshine, waves of gratitude for simple things can sure uplift my mood.
Everything changes, including our emotions as we shift our focus!
Friday, October 17, 2014
Calling Forth the Wisdom of the Runes
CALLING FORTH THE
WISDOM OF THE RUNES
This quiet autumn morning I am drawn to seek and honor the
wisdom of the Runes,
“to lend courage to virtue and ardor to truth” (Samuel
Johnson). In their time, the Runes
were the I Ching of the Vikings; they predate the Old
Testament. The runic
standing stones can still be seen in the British Isles, in Germany, and
throughout Scandinavia. These
prehistoric rock carvings are dated from the second Bronze Age, about 1300
B.C. Only
a few had the powers and skill to understand the symbolic markings to convey
thought. The Gothic runa means “a
sacred thing, a mystery.” To pre-Christian eyes, the earth and all created
things were alive. The most common
Runes were smooth flat pebbles with symbols painted on one side. Years ago, I was guided in meditation
to make my own runes of clay, and use The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum. The Runes are a teacher, an ancient
oraculum (in Latin, a Divine announcement). Oracles are “sacred games, instruments for serious or high
play.” They are meant to free us
from the effort of learning, to learn as children learn, putting us in touch
with our inner guidance, the part of us that knows everything we need to know
for our life now. As Ralph Blum
states in his Introduction, “In
the spiritual life we are always at the beginning.” As we interact with the Runes, we are in a free zone where
we are malleable, vulnerable, and open to change. When the old maps are outdated, we require new navigational
aids. The Runes can help us modify
our life course so we begin to hear messages of profound beauty and true
usefulness. As we invoke “Show me
what I need to know in my life now” the mystery shall unfold. In this spirit, I turn to the Runes I
made decades ago.
Today I am drawn to Laguz, a Rune that signals a time for cleansing: for
revaluing, reorganizing, realigning.
Attributes of this rune are water, fluidity, the ebb and flow of
emotions, of vocation and relationships.
It is a time to experience living without having to evaluate or
understand as I awaken to the intuitive or lunar side of my nature. The Sun strives for differentiation;
the moon draws us toward union and merging.
May I allow myself to flow
this day, trusting unseen forces are at work within and around me. It is not a time to push or have an
agenda, but to be receptive and open to guidance from within. May any merging I do be done with
discretion, not haste, trusting my own navigational skills shall be assisted by
the Runes this day and in many days to come.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
A Poem to the Full Harvest Moon
Dear Grandmother Full Harvest Moon
Round and full you are this night (I have no photos of you, so please accept my stone offering here)
Through all our trials, you shine on, not caught up in our dramas
You spread your mystery, your wonder, your magical light
Giving us comfort when the night is long, and we need a friend.
You invite us to trust and welcome your stillness, your gifts of Light and Hope
blessing this planet so weary of war, yet not yet are we able to assure our children
and their children, there will be peace on Earth for all.
You remind us to trust more, fear less if we are to herald in a time of peace
We need to honor our yearning to be part of the healing and restoring balance
We need to listen better to one another, find common ground and collaborate more,
Caring as we've never dared to do before, reaching out, reaching within.
Please, help us be better stewards of this precious Earth we call home.
Round and full you are this night (I have no photos of you, so please accept my stone offering here)
Through all our trials, you shine on, not caught up in our dramas
You spread your mystery, your wonder, your magical light
Giving us comfort when the night is long, and we need a friend.
You invite us to trust and welcome your stillness, your gifts of Light and Hope
blessing this planet so weary of war, yet not yet are we able to assure our children
and their children, there will be peace on Earth for all.
You remind us to trust more, fear less if we are to herald in a time of peace
We need to honor our yearning to be part of the healing and restoring balance
We need to listen better to one another, find common ground and collaborate more,
Caring as we've never dared to do before, reaching out, reaching within.
Please, help us be better stewards of this precious Earth we call home.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I RELEASE AND I LET GO
THIS FINE DAY, I release my grief, fears, sadness from my ancestral and my own personal past.
Bianca is another gentle soul, sharing this living space with me. I have the clarity and courage to tell Lynn our professional relationship is ending, as I'm needing different, more exuberant, trusting, new energies on my home front. We can still be friends, so call if you want to talk sometime.
I am opening to my own gentleness, joy, trust in life unfolding. I can come to this computer not in apprehension, but knowing I can use good discretion who I share with, who can help this flower within me keep on unfolding, softly and beautifully, no longer wilting under stories of my past.
I treasure small and big pleasures, from yummy meals on my own or shared, to making new friends and giving attention to old ones as I choose. I give thanks for Hilary guiding me to release unhealthy beliefs and neediness, and I am stepping into a whole new beginning, a gentle flowering in my personal, and in time, in my own professional life too. I treasure memories of blue, clear skies and mountain lakes like the above, and there shall be more to come!
I am truly glad to be alive, on this planet, at this time and in this place. I belong here!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
FOND MEMORIES
It's a good thing when a mountain lake brings back memories of days long gone, but still part of our wonderful history with parents who made the commitment to take their three youngsters out in this remarkable land. Much about living simply isn't always easy. When young, we can live with less, carry more, trust our basic needs will be met. On one occasion, hiking over a pass above 9000 feet elevation, my dad fell to to the ground, writhing in pain. The cause was unknown till 48 hours later when he was helicoptered out. In the hospital, they removed kidney stones that were too large to pass. We'd only seen the tough macho side of my Dad, never realizing he too could be vulnerable.
It was a lesson in gratitude for the men who walked out 22 miles to tell the Ranger Station of his location and predicament. It was a lesson in perseverance and going the distance for the rest of us who all carried a bit more to accommodate taking out what was in his pack, as we had those 22 miles to walk ourselves. It was a huge relief to find him recovering, and able to take many more back packing trips before his sudden death at age 55. It was a lesson in how quickly life can change, and there are times we all need outside help to survive. It was both a fond and a terrifying memory.
So when I am no longer able to take such trips, it still brings a mixture of joy and sadness to see photos like this one, of my sons and grandkids able to enjoy the Sierra high country. I am grateful such trips gave me a perspective of a bigger picture, a pristine world beyond our city lives. I am grateful my sons and daughters still love hiking in amazing mountains, and kicking back with friends. I am grateful to be able to walk myself, after years when I could only hobble a few steps. I am still hopeful of companions to come who can help me enjoy wilderness in gentler ways. All for today, and I am glad to be able to have one day in camp with friends next weekend!
It was a lesson in gratitude for the men who walked out 22 miles to tell the Ranger Station of his location and predicament. It was a lesson in perseverance and going the distance for the rest of us who all carried a bit more to accommodate taking out what was in his pack, as we had those 22 miles to walk ourselves. It was a huge relief to find him recovering, and able to take many more back packing trips before his sudden death at age 55. It was a lesson in how quickly life can change, and there are times we all need outside help to survive. It was both a fond and a terrifying memory.
So when I am no longer able to take such trips, it still brings a mixture of joy and sadness to see photos like this one, of my sons and grandkids able to enjoy the Sierra high country. I am grateful such trips gave me a perspective of a bigger picture, a pristine world beyond our city lives. I am grateful my sons and daughters still love hiking in amazing mountains, and kicking back with friends. I am grateful to be able to walk myself, after years when I could only hobble a few steps. I am still hopeful of companions to come who can help me enjoy wilderness in gentler ways. All for today, and I am glad to be able to have one day in camp with friends next weekend!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Faith is Magical !
Faith belongs in the realm of trusting the unknown
For in truth, we do not know what tomorrow shall bring
Yet we gaze at the clouds or the moon, and feel comforted in their presence
We choose to become parents, with faith there will be a future for them
We choose to give up our children to adoptive parents, with faith they need a stable home life we cannot provide, yet we long to stay in touch so they'll know they are loved, not abandoned.
Faith often requires courage, tenacity, letting go. It means we surrender to the unknown,
doing the best we can envision to make our lives, our planet more sustainable.
There is magic and mystery in having faith be stronger than our fears and doubts.
When I am with young children and watch them become such unique little people,
I have faith all the tears, years, and hard work of being a parent do have a huge influence
on their future possibilities. May your faith grow strong roots that shall sustain you and me
with all the changes to come. May we all have faith life is indeed precious!
For in truth, we do not know what tomorrow shall bring
Yet we gaze at the clouds or the moon, and feel comforted in their presence
We choose to become parents, with faith there will be a future for them
We choose to give up our children to adoptive parents, with faith they need a stable home life we cannot provide, yet we long to stay in touch so they'll know they are loved, not abandoned.
Faith often requires courage, tenacity, letting go. It means we surrender to the unknown,
doing the best we can envision to make our lives, our planet more sustainable.
There is magic and mystery in having faith be stronger than our fears and doubts.
When I am with young children and watch them become such unique little people,
I have faith all the tears, years, and hard work of being a parent do have a huge influence
on their future possibilities. May your faith grow strong roots that shall sustain you and me
with all the changes to come. May we all have faith life is indeed precious!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
MAY WE BE OF GOOD WILL
There is a wonderful Buddhist Prayer I'd like to share with all who feel out of balance, living from a place of stress instead of being in touch with virtues and aspirations that work in our own daily living.
May we have peace,
May we be well.
May we be of good will, today and always.
Maybe Spirit wants us to be more aware, more careful and present, not just more austere in hard times.
May we learn to trust in our own basic goodness, saying no to that inner critic that has a list of rules and shoulds that, if we are honest, make no sense at this time in our lives.
How about an aspiration to be more honest with ourselves and with others?
To listen to our body's wisdom, not pushing when we need extra rest, even in the daytime.
To say "no thanks" to taking on too many activities, and refocusing on what matters
What if we realize a busy mind used to calling the shots needs a reality check, some reflective time-out.
What if being gentle and kind, honoring a more patient lifestyle would be more true, and oh so much less stressful. It isn't simple to change our unconscious patterns, but it can be done.
Do you have some patterns you'd like to change? Take a few baby steps, and congratulate yourself. Gratitude for our ability to stop, look, and listen within can help us be in touch with our own basic goodness once again.
May we have peace,
May we be well.
May we be of good will, today and always.
Maybe Spirit wants us to be more aware, more careful and present, not just more austere in hard times.
May we learn to trust in our own basic goodness, saying no to that inner critic that has a list of rules and shoulds that, if we are honest, make no sense at this time in our lives.
How about an aspiration to be more honest with ourselves and with others?
To listen to our body's wisdom, not pushing when we need extra rest, even in the daytime.
To say "no thanks" to taking on too many activities, and refocusing on what matters
What if we realize a busy mind used to calling the shots needs a reality check, some reflective time-out.
What if being gentle and kind, honoring a more patient lifestyle would be more true, and oh so much less stressful. It isn't simple to change our unconscious patterns, but it can be done.
Do you have some patterns you'd like to change? Take a few baby steps, and congratulate yourself. Gratitude for our ability to stop, look, and listen within can help us be in touch with our own basic goodness once again.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
POETRY IS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL
POETRY
IS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL
Poetry can attack injustices, without regard to pleasing the
listener
Just as a wild animal is depressed & unhappy when
trapped in a cage
Where he/she
has no freedom to roam, to explore, to follow his natural instincts
So, too, the poet is restless and even despondent when not
allowed to express
her
passion, her aspirations, her reality in words.
She longs to be heard and acknowledged in a culture that
usually ignores her.
Is she really retired, or just weary of no one listening, no
one giving her support
So she
can practice her calling, her craft?
A wild animal has mystery, grace, a presence no longer found
if her habitat is removed,
Her
survival is at risk. She is
not welcome where humans choose to encroach on her domain. So often she no longer has a place to
call home, a place where she is safe to raise her family and watch them become
independent.
The poet too can feel displaced, expected to follow the
rules that domesticate her free spirit.
If she has no mate, she must find ways to support and protect herself,
and does so however she can. Or,
as many have done, she takes her life or quietly becomes silenced.
To be a poet is often a very solitary, disciplined
existence, yet many of us yearn for community, for a sense of belonging.
We want people who care about us even if they have no idea
the passion within us.
Poets use language to create possibilities and express
feelings that many may have, but often cannot express. Only in recent decades have women poets
risen to be heard in this country.
For centuries, poetry has been the domain of men.
My
grandmother kept letters dating back to the 1700’s, and compiled them in her
eighties. They tell the stories of
so many women whose roles were defined by being wives, mothers and daughters,
with so little chance to explore the workings of their own minds beyond sending
letters that often took months to reach their kinfolk. It seems poetry was a
luxury reserved for the men like Shakespeare, Byron, Tennyson, Keats, and
Shelley. When one bears and raises
many children, or dies in childbirth or from illness, it would be tough to
access the poet within. Many of
the women English novelists remained single to give attention to their
craft. Like Jo, in Little Women,
one had to be spirited and wild to consider being an author! This paragraph belongs in an essay
someday, but is included to say there may be an ancestral thread that goes back
generations to having the discipline and inclination to write creatively. It skipped the family I grew up in, but
it is there in The Hudson Saga of my paternal grandmother because she took the
time to preserve this history.
Thank you, Nana Hatch! I
didn’t get to see your wild or free spirit, your creative side that may have
died with the wartime death of your son, my father, in 1944. Your diaries told of the deep grief you
carried, with no one to really hear you or comfort you. Some of my passion about the
devastating effect of war on families comes from personal experience.
This commentary was inspired initially by noticing how passive and inactive my indoor cat is compared to a cat in the wild, like a lion free to roam compared to being in a zoo. Also Bianca has no social life with a fellow cat, because where I live I can only have one pet, so her life is very restricted.
Friday, June 27, 2014
ENJOYING THE LIGHT RAIN
After days of a nasty cold, I got to my last water coloring class at the Upper Duck Pond in Lithia Park. We met beneath some spruce trees that sheltered us from the rain. It was fun to watch several groups of young kids scamper by, enjoying an overcast day after yesterday's heavy rains. The park is truly beautiful when the trees are so wet; the bark is much more distinctive and well-defined.
We sat in our shelter of trees, and first sketched a small area of the pond, then bit by bit, painted in the details. I didn't have my camera along, so this photo is from 15 months ago. Ducks seem to love the rain! Grateful we are getting this much needed rain in June, for we are under real drought conditions, more so than I can ever remember so early in the summer season. Birds were chirping, happy for the moisture too. I took a short walk, but was careful to not overdo it. I chose to frame my simple painting, then needed a short rest after lunch. Happily my caregiver Tanja came by, and with her encouragement, we got rid of some serious clutter in my living room, and created a sweet altar area, including my new painting, some soul cards, and a photo of Taryn and me walking along the beach at my mom and dad's Memorial Celebration last August. I look forward to seeing my granddaughters and their parents in about two weeks!
I'd forgotten how sweet it can be to be outside in light rain. Sometimes I do get frustrated with being sick (this was unacceptable in my family, so I do need to be my own best friend when ill). Listened this morning to a CD on De-stressing the Brain, and one suggestion is going for gratitude and quietly affirming my worthiness of having good friends, good health, appropriate self-care and accepting help from others too. The Buddhist idea of loving kindness in the midst of life's challenges instead of reacting in ways that only add to the stress. All for now. May we all learn to be more loving, more tender toward ourselves!
We sat in our shelter of trees, and first sketched a small area of the pond, then bit by bit, painted in the details. I didn't have my camera along, so this photo is from 15 months ago. Ducks seem to love the rain! Grateful we are getting this much needed rain in June, for we are under real drought conditions, more so than I can ever remember so early in the summer season. Birds were chirping, happy for the moisture too. I took a short walk, but was careful to not overdo it. I chose to frame my simple painting, then needed a short rest after lunch. Happily my caregiver Tanja came by, and with her encouragement, we got rid of some serious clutter in my living room, and created a sweet altar area, including my new painting, some soul cards, and a photo of Taryn and me walking along the beach at my mom and dad's Memorial Celebration last August. I look forward to seeing my granddaughters and their parents in about two weeks!
I'd forgotten how sweet it can be to be outside in light rain. Sometimes I do get frustrated with being sick (this was unacceptable in my family, so I do need to be my own best friend when ill). Listened this morning to a CD on De-stressing the Brain, and one suggestion is going for gratitude and quietly affirming my worthiness of having good friends, good health, appropriate self-care and accepting help from others too. The Buddhist idea of loving kindness in the midst of life's challenges instead of reacting in ways that only add to the stress. All for now. May we all learn to be more loving, more tender toward ourselves!
Thursday, June 19, 2014
HOW SWEET TO HEAR THEIR VOICES!
Last night I had a rare, special chance to talk with Lara and Meagan on the phone. Their best birthday gift is having this time being together at Lara's place in Pasadena, visiting with mutual friends, having a gala dinner at an Argentinean restaurant they both love, choosing Meagan's wedding dress. Within a week, Meagan flies back to her new life in Chile, and she'll be getting married there next March.
I have compassion for the many moms whose daughters live far away, and seldom are able to visit. I feel sadness to know I won't be at Meagan's wedding, but trust someday I shall be able to meet her beloved Jaime. Thank God for photos on facebook, so I have a sense of how happy she is living in Chile, enjoying her work, her unfolding relationship with Jaime and his very large extended family.
The girls are so close too, a blessing for both of them. Their parents have done a marvelous job of giving them a strong foundation, and blessing their wings too. It touches my heart to see the joy in Linda and Warren's faces whenever they have the chance to be with the girls. They are a very close-knit family, no matter how far apart they live. Eugene will always be "home" for Lara and Meagan.
Do all birthmothers feel so blessed to watch their children given to new parents grow into remarkable, confident, talented young men or women? Probably not, especially if they harbor resentment or regret for their decision to give their child a new home with new parents. For all of us, it's been precious, and brought much joy into many lives. Thy know they are loved by many folks, and have large networks of friends who stay in touch and miss them. What more could a mom wish for her adult children-good health, loyal friends, confidence in the present and future because they've grown up with much love, and wise counsel from parents and others when facing life's challenges.
How sweet to hear them laughing, inquisitive, enjoying their busy lives. I am so glad to still be included, able to share their joy. Blessings and love to you both as you journey into your futures!
Friday, March 14, 2014
Grateful for the Otter Spirit in Me!
Though I've not seen an otter in years, they're playful, joyful critters, at home in the ocean and in free-flowing rivers, sometimes beneath waterfalls.
They love to play hide and seek, carefree, and untroubled as they enjoy the simple pleasures of being in the water. moving with grace and delight. They are on the go, curious, adventuresome, totally at home in the elements of earth or water.
When pregnant with Lara (above) and Meagan, swimming was my greatest delight, giving me strength to carry twins full-term, even as an older mother.
Otter "medicine" is about nurturing our sisterhood, the bonds that enjoy and share the good fortunes of others without preconceptions or suspicions. I see my daughters being playful, friendly, nurturing these kinds of bonds with the men as well as the women in their lives. This is women energy without games, and I am so grateful to see it unfolding first between Lara and Meagan, and now to so many folks lucky to be their friends and colleagues. This open, trusting way of living, with boundaries when appropriate too, is possible for men as well as women. As I make my medicine shield for the West this month, I feel moved to include two otters, for they embody a hearty, healthy way of relating to others, and I feel a deep sadness that otters are now endangered in many places, along with bears, wolves, whales, and so many species because humans have often ignored their needs and treated them abusively, sometimes even intentionally.
I am indeed grateful to see the otter spirit in my own offspring, and hopefully alive and well in me as I am regaining my balance!
They love to play hide and seek, carefree, and untroubled as they enjoy the simple pleasures of being in the water. moving with grace and delight. They are on the go, curious, adventuresome, totally at home in the elements of earth or water.
When pregnant with Lara (above) and Meagan, swimming was my greatest delight, giving me strength to carry twins full-term, even as an older mother.
Otter "medicine" is about nurturing our sisterhood, the bonds that enjoy and share the good fortunes of others without preconceptions or suspicions. I see my daughters being playful, friendly, nurturing these kinds of bonds with the men as well as the women in their lives. This is women energy without games, and I am so grateful to see it unfolding first between Lara and Meagan, and now to so many folks lucky to be their friends and colleagues. This open, trusting way of living, with boundaries when appropriate too, is possible for men as well as women. As I make my medicine shield for the West this month, I feel moved to include two otters, for they embody a hearty, healthy way of relating to others, and I feel a deep sadness that otters are now endangered in many places, along with bears, wolves, whales, and so many species because humans have often ignored their needs and treated them abusively, sometimes even intentionally.
I am indeed grateful to see the otter spirit in my own offspring, and hopefully alive and well in me as I am regaining my balance!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Spring is in the Air!
A storm is moving in. Glad I got to see the daffodils unfolding yesterday, and remembered to roll up the car windows. I am learning to be patient, and wait to plant until the ground has more moisture, the air is warmer, and I feel guided instead of rushing out, buying starts that I cannot protect from drought and storms. Meanwhile Bianca is adapting gracefully to her new home, and she got a clean bill of health from the vet yesterday; we could both lose some weight, but it is easier to exercise for me. She's been in a cage over a month, so needs encouragement to be active again. One step at a time. Already a neighbor dropped by, willing to give her food and water and a bit of company if I go away overnight. New beginnings don't have to be difficult if we allow them to unfold in their own timing!
Sunday, February 16, 2014
WE KEEP WATCH: ODE TO THE MOON
Together, all around the world, we keep watch, stirred by your resilience and your brightly beaming, taking back the Night.
Unafraid, you keep on, bold and unwavering.
Reassured by you luminous, true Presence
I return to sleep in the predawn light , feeling Blessed.
Written in the night, as February 16 is dawning, and the Moon begins to wane. "You are no paper moon. You're full of life, a vitality so unlike the Sun. You are so full of Grace, Mystery, Patience, and Presence. You help me trust the changes that are coming. Thank you for giving Light to the Darkness."
Unafraid, you keep on, bold and unwavering.
Reassured by you luminous, true Presence
I return to sleep in the predawn light , feeling Blessed.
Written in the night, as February 16 is dawning, and the Moon begins to wane. "You are no paper moon. You're full of life, a vitality so unlike the Sun. You are so full of Grace, Mystery, Patience, and Presence. You help me trust the changes that are coming. Thank you for giving Light to the Darkness."
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Tribute to Rustin
My sweet hamster Rustin died this afternoon. He was still breathing very slowly in the morning, and warm, but now he has moved on. He is the first friend who has died that I've been able to talk with, touch, and make comfortable in his final hours. Two days ago it was sunny, so I took him in a lunch box size cage on an outing. He had food and water and a warm hat over his cage while I was in an OLLI class, then he had a blast running on the grass, the paved parking area, and some rocks, exploring as he'd not had a chance to do since I got him the end of November. One last fling, and now he is at peace. I feel a mixture of gratitude and sadness, grateful he had an easy and quick death, and sad we'll have no more fun outings together in this lifetime.
He was sweet, curious, probably lonely sometimes, and a good sport to wait so long for a real outing. I am glad I followed my instinct on that one, for he loved exploring uncharted turf as much as I do! It is too soon to know if I shall get another pet anytime soon. For now, his gentle spirit is still with me, telling me he is thankful to have a few weeks as my friend, and even though he is now dead, we can still love one another in the stillness.
Adieu, sweet, innocent friend.....peace be with you wherever you are. Maybe there is great rolling grass with no predators in hamster heaven!
He was sweet, curious, probably lonely sometimes, and a good sport to wait so long for a real outing. I am glad I followed my instinct on that one, for he loved exploring uncharted turf as much as I do! It is too soon to know if I shall get another pet anytime soon. For now, his gentle spirit is still with me, telling me he is thankful to have a few weeks as my friend, and even though he is now dead, we can still love one another in the stillness.
Adieu, sweet, innocent friend.....peace be with you wherever you are. Maybe there is great rolling grass with no predators in hamster heaven!
Friday, January 3, 2014
Respecting the messages we receive
This reminder came to me from a facebook friend I've never met, but I treasure her wisdom:
Nurture the messages that come from spirit before you share them with others.
Allow the them time to grow to build strength.
When one shares too soon it can... be lost in the talking and excitement, then it has little energy to be made manifest.
Trust, be patient and the manifestation will be realized.
Then watch the vision take flight.
Blessings (Art: Windfalcon).
Sometimes spirit speaks in the lyrics of a song that gives us chills. Sometimes with an inner knowing when we take a chance, and try something beyond our usual self-limiting identity. In our exuberance, we may share too quickly, or with folks who don't appreciate the travails we have endured.
What helps us trust when so much seems to not yet be manifesting? Patience and faith, a willingness to persevere despite the odds that can be discouraging...these are part of an opening, vulnerable and courageous heart. Some things do get better with age. When we relax our own boundaries, take time to listen to one another's intentions, stay curious instead of fearful, relationships have a chance of growing. As we move from casual encounter to more meaningful relationships, the little commitments add up, and we begin to wonder, is this a commitment we are both willing to nurture? Letting things unfold gently instead of broadcasting the changes we are embracing, sometimes cautiously and carefully, allows spirit to be our companion too. Our dreams can manifest more authentically if we give them time and encouragement, and yes, some privacy too.
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