Saturday 4/14

Today began overcast and rainy, but after the constellation w/ Emily, the sky was blue and I took a short nap in Clay St. Park.  Met a new friend, Gemma, and I have a feeling we'll do somethings together; felt good to talk with someone brand new and interested in my life too!  What I learned from the constellation is it felt good to have the closure of a big hug with mom, and realize she wanted me in an overwhelming way when she was pregnant with me, and I am so grateful she not only gave me the gift of life, but did her best to be a mom I could count on, even with her work demands.  She is at peace, and me too, with her death, and in some ways, we can be closer when we choose, for the challenges of her last years alive are now over.  As I represented Chad's grandpa, I realized I have a gift born of my experiences of helping make death more comfortable and acceptable when someone is near the end & anxious about dying.  I can help the living with their grieving, and the dying with moving on w/o the load of guilt or misgivings.  My hart can be open to whatever needs to happen.  That is a gift!  I ate more wisely today, taking along a veggie burger for a snack.  Proud of my self-discipline!